Posted on August 2, 2024 by Rabbi David Katz
Did you know that Jews are not supposed to make promises? If you say to a Jewish friend, “See you tomorrow,” your friend is supposed to respond, “lo b’neder,” – “not as a vow,” (meaning “I won’t hold you to it.” “I won’t take that as a promise.”) The reason Jews are not to make promises is simple. We may break our word because we are unable to carry out what we have said we would do. Only God knows the future.
Until recent times the spoken word was a person’s bond. In the time of Abraham nomads depended on the word of others for their survival. Scholars believe this may be how the importance of a “covenant” developed. Through the centuries Jews have tried to avoid making promises.
Is this Jewish value explicitly stated? We need search no further than this week’s Torah portion. In the first two verses it is written: “Moses spoke to the heads of the Israelite tribes, saying: “This is what the Eternal has commanded: If a householder makes a vow to the Eternal or takes an oath imposing an obligation on himself, he shall not break his pledge; he must carry out all that has crossed his lips.” – (Num. 30:2-3)
Through the centuries the spoken word has carried weight not only for Jews but for most all people. Not so now. The printing press has changed the relationship people have to the spoken word and the internet has diminished both the value of speech and of writing. Today, when we Americans listen to politicians running for office and hear the many promises they make, do we jot down every promise and expect them to be kept? When we Jews hear 10 promises from a politician we support, do we whisper “lo b’neder?”
The tradition teaches us to say what we mean and mean what we say. At the end of tonight’s sermon (and don’t hold me to this,) I’m going to say, “See you next week.” If you’re in attendance, I’d like you to shout back “Lo b’neder.”
Shabbat shalom,
Rabbi David Katz
